EPL Week 5 — Ouch
Ole pulls his best Fergie impression, Boring City v Arsenal, Spurs Bottle it as usual and one injury puts Liverpool’s title chances in jeopardy.
Winners — UTD. Whenever his job is on the line Ole turns in to prime Fergie and pull one out his ass. UTD actually looked a little decent for the first time this season. Pogba started on the bench, I am sure his IDGAF attitude finally got Ole mad enough to drop him. The best part about UTD though was the chemistry of Mata and Fernandes. Now lets face it, Mata is not going to do this all season but it was encouraging to see for UTD fans I am sure. It is only Newcastle but given their form, UTD needed this win.
Losers — Liverpool. They didn’t lose the game but they may have lost the league. Merseyside derby and you expect some hard tackles, but FFS, what was Pickford doing there? that horror tackle on VVD was uncalled for. The fact that it didn’t go to VAR is even more concerning. The game itself was a good one though, Mane proving again that he is Liverpool’s MVP. Now I don’t for a second feel sorry for Liverpool, injuries are a part of the game, all the big 6 teams dealt with major injuries last season, this season we will see what Liverpool is really made of without VVD.
Boring — City v Arsenal. OMG this was shit game. Arsenal sat back countered a few times but in the end City got the goal and really that was that. The game lacked spark, quality and drive. Lot’s of huffing a puffing but nothing to write home about. The biggest story was Arsenal benching their deadline day signing SMH. You buy BIG name players for BIG games, not the gaddamn bench. This game did not show us much about the 2 teams. City are still better than the Gunners. It wasn’t the usual beat down the Gunners get at the Etihad but a loss is a loss.
Chelsea have arguably the best collection of forward thinking players in the league, and it showed. But that back line + Kepa is a DISASTER! Timo Werner must be thinking to himself “I gotta score at least 4 for us to get a win”. Chelsea looked smooth going forward, even shit Harvertz looked like a premier league player. But as good as they were going forward every time Southampton countered you thought they would score. Lampard has some work to do defensively, you have the best DM in the world and for some reason his form has dropped under your leadership. FIX IT Fat Frank!!!
Chokers — 1–0 after 45 seconds of football, 3–0 after 15 minutes. Spurs looked great. You thought it would be a 6s and 7s kinda night. The Son, Kane partnership continues to blossom. Both of them will end up with 20+ goals this season. But you need to close out games and this is what Mourinho was known for. Closing out games even at 1–0 Mourinho teams didn’t concede. But today, to concede 3 goals in 8 minutes, wow. I am sure Mou blasted the squad after the game, no days off this week for Spurs players. Credit to Westham for not folding and downing tools. And what a goal for the equalizer. Contender for goals of the season for sure. Oh, and Bale came on as a sub, if you care about that kind of thing.
Power Rankings
- Everton — still top. don’t say it too loud, but they might be for real.
- Aston Villa — These guys 4–0 and they have beaten a big team already. Grielish needs to be starting for England not fucking Mason Mount.
- Liverpool — the champions looked decent after the Villa debacle, but that VVD loss is BIG.
- Sp*rs — Hear me out here. Kane and Son are doing the business, Mou will fix them defensively. They are on the UP.
- I have no #5, No one really stuck out this weekend. I’M SORRY OK!!!!
